Fat and Fucked

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 13 - Rejecting Shame and Celebrating Movement with Intuitive Fatty

In Episode 13 of "Fat and Fucked," Krista and Suzy chat with Kiely aka IntuitiveFatty about their "Move and Mend" program and how they're working to help clients living in fat bodies to heal their complex relationships to movement. This conversation highlights the need for safe movement spaces that prioritize inclusivity and compassion for those who are accustomed to experiencing judgment and shame when they move their bodies.  Kiely flips the script to one of pleasure, empowerment, and self-care, leaving the pain and punishment behind with their rejection of diet culture, as they usher others to follow suit. We also get a glimpse into IntuitiveFatty's personal journey to ditching societal conditioning and claiming their hotness as they shed their shame and embrace their crop tops.

Remember to stay engaged with Fat and Fucked by following us on IG @fatandfuckedpod, sending us your questions about sex and fatness, and telling your friends about us. We value the voices and experiences you bring to this vibrant and courageous conversation.If you are loving the pod, please write us a review and a 5-star rating! This is an excellent way to show your support and will help us grow!

 

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 12 - Fat, Free, and Figuring It Out: Suzy’s Mid-life Glow-up

In a raw and deeply personal conversation between the hosts, Suzy Hooker opens up about her transformative mid-life crisis inspired by the principles of fat liberation. Alongside co-host Krista Nabar, this episode delves into challenging conversations about personal evolution, the struggle for acceptance, and the power of authentic living, all within the framework of fat liberation.

 

The hosts discuss the upcoming changes to their lives and friendship with Suzy relocating from Raleigh, NC to Portland, OR and continuing to record the podcast with Krista from different coasts.Suzy shares her story of how embracing fat liberation led to life-altering changes, enabling her to stop shrinking for others and start fulfilling her own needs. This episode encourages listeners to reflect on their own journey of personal evolution and the ways they've integrated or plan to integrate the ideas from the podcast into their lives. Krista challenges listeners to visualize a life that fully embraces fat liberation, advocating for acceptance and authentic living. You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! You’ll find liberation!

 

Remember to stay engaged with Fat and Fucked by following us on IG @fatandfuckedpod, sending us your questions about sex and fatness, and telling your friends about us. We value the voices and experiences you bring to this vibrant and courageous conversation.If you are loving the pod, please write us a review and a 5-star rating! This is an excellent way to show your support and will help us grow!

 

Resources

 

Virgie Tovar - @virgietovar

https://www.virgietovar.com/

https://www.virgietovar.com/books.html

Roxane Gay - https://roxanegay.com/

 

Sabrina Strings - https://www.sabrinastrings.com/

 

Samantha Irby - https://www.samanthairby.com/

 

Aubrey Gordon - https://www.aubreygordon.net/

 

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 11 - Sell Me Pants! A Conversation with Fat Positive Therapist Kayla Stansberry

In this episode of Fat and Fucked, your hosts Krista Nabar and Suzy Hooker are joined by the marvelous Kayla Stansberry (she/her). Kayla's not just a fatty with the same love for cheese and cookies as us, she's a licensed clinical professional counselor who champions anti-oppression and fat positivity, in the most delightful way! Kayla is the owner of Intuitive Growth Counseling, and works as a therapist primarily with fat folks. She is a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and is a fat, cisgender, queer, neurodivergent and white femme.

 

In this episode, we get to hear about Kayla's experiences with organizing a body-positive retreat, the hurdles faced in making spaces more accessible, and oddly enough, bunk bed nightmares. Kayla also raises some serious topics about body diversity, fat trauma, challenging the harmful theories around fatness, emotional struggles, and mental health. And she was a great sport in her willingness to school us in our game "Liberate me, baby" - get ready to unlearn some nonsense!

 

As always, "Be fat, be fab, and be free." You don't want to miss this enlightening episode with Kayla Stansberry - we guarantee you're in for a rich and raw conversation. Tune in, folks! It's about to get real.

Resources

 

Kayla Stansberry - Instagram @fatpositivetherapist

https://www.intuitivegrowthcounseling.com/

TikTok @fatpositivetherapist

https://kayla-stansberry-llc.business.site/

The Body is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love - Sonya Renee Taylor https://www.sonyareneetaylor.com/books/the-body-is-not-an-apology-the-power-of-radical-self-love-h2x6p

 

Plus Raleigh - (fat community group in Raleigh-Durham, NC) instagram @plusraleigh

 

The Appalachian Retreat and Spa (retreat center designed with fat and disabled accessibility in mind) - https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-appalachian-retreat-spa#/

Instagram @theappalachianretreatandspa

The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel van der Kolk - https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score

 

Katelyn Scott Photography - https://katelynscott.com/, Instagram @katelynscottboudoir

 

Time Stamps

 

02:19 Struggling with body image, society's expectations.

13:48 Feedback from clients about therapists' anti-fat bias.

23:06 Kayle discusses fat retreat

30:42 “Liberate Me Baby” - Myth: Inside every fat person is a thin person waiting to get out.”

36:24 Sizing standards in the fashion industry are problematic

40:59 Sexual stigma for fat folks hinders conversations, dating.

47:26 Fat folks and personality development

49:44 Intuitive eating, neurodivergent, fixation meals, ADHD, nutrients.

 

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 10 - On Dr. Sexyfat’s Couch : Candid Conversations on Fantasies, Functioning and Sexual Self-discovery

Hey there, fellow liberationists! Welcome to another episode of "Fat and Fucked" with your hosts, Suzy Hooker and Krista Nabar. In this episode our resident sexpert, Dr. Sexyfat, answers a bunch of listener questions about porn, sexual authenticity, nakedness, and sexual functioning among other things.

 

Before we dive into the Q&A, let's catch you up on what's been happening. Suzy, who has a resting bitch face (which doesn't mean she hates you, by the way), and Krista, a sex therapist (not a sex educator), start by talking about the concept of Fat Joy and why it is inherently an act of resistance. Experiencing joy in the very bodies we are constantly being told to eradicate is resistance.

 

The first question we tackle is about concerns regarding the adult film industry and pornography. Krista takes a porn-neutral stance and emphasizes the need for sex education and porn literacy. Next, we explore the topic of SSRIs and their impact on sexual functioning. It turns out that these medications can affect arousal, orgasm, and desire. Krista suggests resetting expectations and being open to new strategies for sexual stimulation.

We then shift gears a bit and delve into body acceptance and fat liberation. Insecurities about our bodies can still arise in intimate situations, even if we are fat liberationists, but it's important not to let them determine our behavior.

 

We hope you enjoy this episode of "Fat and Fucked" and find some valuable insights along the way. Remember to keep sending us your questions and feedback. We love hearing from you!

 

FatFabFree@gmail.com or @fatandfuckedpod on Instagram

 

And If you’d like to support the show you can do so at patreon.com/fatandfuckedpodcast.

 

Resources

 

Dear Abby - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Abby

Dan Savage - advice column: https://savage.love/savagelove/

• Known for being fatphobic, but is also racist, misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic, etc. https://blogofstench.livejournal.com/577818.html

• Articles written in Seattle’s The Stranger in which he published a fatphobic article, Fat Liberationist Lindy West published a response calling him on it, he responded by doubling down etc. This took place while he was her editor.

  • Lindy’s response - https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/2011/02/11/6716603/hello-i-am-fat

  • Dan’s follow-up to Lindy’s response - https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/2011/02/14/6753867/hello-im-not-the-enemy

Impact of SSRIs on Sexual Functioning -

Rosen RC, Lane RM, Menza M. Effects of SSRIs on sexual function: a critical review. J Clin Psychopharmacol. 1999 Feb;19(1):67-85. doi: 10.1097/00004714-199902000-00013. PMID: 9934946.

Brene Brown TED Talk on the relationship between vulnerability and connection - https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

00:08:54 Dr. Sexyfat helps explore sexy topics.

00:15:28 Difficulty getting unbiased info about porn industry. Issues with pay for femmes in industry.

00:18:37 Porn without literacy normalizes harmful sexual scripts.

00:22:17 Ethical porn pays actors, ensures diversity, authenticity, and better experience.

00:31:51 Spontaneous vs. Responsive desire

00:32:49 Understanding sexual desire, exploring changes, resetting expectations.

00:43:12 Authenticity, connection, vulnerability, trust in dating.

00:46:29 Talking about sex, values, and timing of milestones in relationships.

00:53:17 Mindfulness exercises to stay focused in sexual encounters.

00:58:19 Mindfulness enhances sexual experience; explore novel activities.

 

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 9 - See? We Told You Weight Stigma Was The Problem! Dr. Asher Larmie and Jeanette Thompson Wessen Set The Record Straight

Welcome to a new episode of Fat and Fucked, hosted by Dr. Krista Nabar and Suzy Hooker. We are so glad you made it since this is THE EPISODE you need to hear! We have two incredible guests joining us for an extremely valuable conversation. Dr. Asher Larmie (he/they) and Jeanette Thompson-Wessen (she/her) settle the score on why fat liberation PROMOTES health rather than detracts from it.

 

Jeanette and Asher share their intimate connection with fatness and fat liberation, and their paths to becoming outspoken advocates of fat liberation. One of the core themes we discuss is weight stigma and its detrimental impact on an individual's health. We also touch on the importance of fat visibility and representation. Throughout the episode, we question the notion of "health" and its distorted portrayal in society. We challenge the assumption that being fat automatically signifies an inability to care for oneself. Instead, we explore how systemic barriers prevent access to quality healthcare for fat individuals and how weight-centered healthcare approaches fail to prioritize well-being.

 

Drawing from their own experiences and expertise, Asher and Jeanette confidently debunk the myth that intentional weight loss improves long-term health outcomes. Instead, they advocate for rejecting diet culture and embracing self-care through body acceptance. Join us on this thought-provoking and enlightening episode as we dive into the complexities of weight stigma, fat liberation, and the true meaning of health. Let's embrace a more inclusive and compassionate world together.

 

If you are loving the pod, please write us a review and a 5-star rating! This is an excellent way to show your support and will help us grow!

 

Resources

 

Where to find Jeanette Thompson-Wessen: website - themindsetnutritionist.podia.com (check out her courses and substack!); Instagram - @themindsetnutritionist

 

Where to find Dr. Asher Larmie: website - fatdoctor.co.uk (Check out their Masterclasses and books!), Instagram - @thefatdoctor

 

Why we don’t use “ob*sity” - https://withinhealth.com/learn/articles/why-using-the-word-obese-is-a-problem

 

What is Health At Every Size (HAES)? - https://asdah.org/health-at-every-size-haes-approach/

 

What is Intuitive Eating? - the book: https://read.macmillan.com/lp/intuitive-eating-4th-edition/

The principles: https://www.intuitiveeating.org/10-principles-of-intuitive-eating/

 

Nic McDermid - https://www.nicmcdermid.com/

 

Time Stamps

[00:23:49] Distorted health messages blame individuals instead of society.

[00:29:37] Governments oppressing marginalized communities through lack of access.

[00:35:12] Novo Nordisk profits soar with weight loss injections.

[00:39:18] Fat liberationists struggle with dwindling numbers due to weight loss drugs.

[00:42:58] Doctors spreading troubling misinformation about weight loss and health.

[00:50:26] Weight cycling worsens health; “weight loss paradox.”

[00:56:25] Difference between disordered eating and eating disorders in fat people may be nonsensical. Fat people likely have a history of what is considered disordered eating but is actually an eating disorder. Doctors prescribe eating disorders to fat people.

[01:01:59] Dieting, weight stigma, and eating disorders.

 

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 8 - Lovin’ and Ignorin’: Why Our Faves Won’t Hear What We’re Saying

Fat and Fucked made it to episode 8, where most podcasts go to die. And what a journey it has been! This episode offers a vulnerable discussion of the challenges and successes that Suzy and Krista have had building Fat and Fucked from the ground up. Shocker, it’s been a lot of work, but also a highly rewarding experience! The hosts then share some of the feedback they have gotten from loved ones who struggle with aspects of fat liberation to the degree that they won’t listen to the F&F. They take the opportunity to address some of the objections and impediments and offer strategies for listeners to reflect on their own experience of the podcast and integrate anything they have learned into their lives.

 

Fat and Fucked could really use your help in two ways to continue creating great content and growing the podcast:

 

1. Send us your recommendations for fat folks with important things to say who you want to hear on the podcast. We are especially looking for guests who have marginalized identities in addition to fatness.

2. Positive reviews are really important for the success of podcasts! Please take some time and write us a good review on the platform you get your podcasts from.

 

Resources:

 

Fat and Fucked on Listen Notes: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/fat-and-fucked-where-fat-sex-and-fat-nsBev0ykWYf/

 

Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy: https://drlaurenfogel.com/; Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersy

 

Weight bias in the workplace: https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/the-opportunity-costs-of-weight-bias-at-work/

 

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220411-the-unspoken-weight-discrimination-problem-at-work

Research on weight stigma having a negative impact on health

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34749889/

 

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(22)00138-9/fulltext

 

Lady Gaga’s meat dress: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meat_dress_of_Lady_Gaga

Time Stamps:

 

00:04:34 Learning curve in technical production; transition to home studios and distribution channels was intense.

00:12:18 Busy, overwhelmed, struggling to find balance.

00:17:19 Friendship requires navigating challenging conversations

00:23:04 AI flags "fat" due to negative associations.

00:30:22 Feedback for hosts matters in our inclusive journey.

00:41:09 Fat liberation journey brings self-care and empowerment.

00:48:19 Weight loss doesn't equal improved health.

00:58:14 Fat sex is different, needs acknowledgement and discussion.

01:06:16 Liberation Integration Task

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 7 - Body Image, Desire, and Sexuality: Unraveling Society’s Sexy Script with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy

Episode 7 is a must-listen for anyone who has struggled with sexual desire and libido, either their own or their partner’s. Hosts Suzy and Krista are joined by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy (she/her), a licensed psychologist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She owns her own private practice in Minnesota, and is the co-author of the book Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Dr. Fogel Mersy brings both her expertise as a leading voice on the complexity of desire as well lived experience as a person on the fat spectrum much of her life. She brings it all together in this episode with practical applications that can help lay the foundation for change now. If you aren’t already following Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, now is a great time!

 

Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersy

TikTok: @drlaurenfogelmersy

Facebook: www.facebook.com/drlaurenfogelmersy

 

Other resources:

 

Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy and Dr. Jennifer Vencill - https://drlaurenfogel.com/book/

 

The Origins of Attachment Theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth - https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1993-01038-001

 

Eli Coleman Institute for Sexual and Gender Health - https://med.umn.edu/sexualhealth

Zumanity by Cirque du Soleil - https://www.lasvegasdirect.com/zumanity-cirque-du-soleil/

Maintenance Phase podcast with Aubrey Gordon and Michael Hobbes

Sexual Desire Discrepancy as a Feature, not a Bug, of Long Term Relationships: Women’s Self-Reported Strategies for Modulating Sexual Desire - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jsm.12625

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-As-You-Are-Revised-and-Updated/Emily-Nagoski/9781982165314

Dual Control Model of Sexual Response by Janssen and Bancroft - https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/dual-control-model.php

Ironic Process Theory, Daniel Wegner - https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/10/unwanted-thoughts

The Body is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Sonya Renee Taylor - https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/

Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life by Elle Chase - https://www.ellechase.com/curvy-girl-sex

 

Time Stamps

[00:11:00] Desire differences cause relationship and individual distress.

[00:14:05] Body change in relationships impacts sexual desire.

[00:22:48] Expect and embrace differences in relationships. Avoid blaming lower libido partner. Challenges of adhering to sexual scripts.

[00:31:11] Heteronormative bias: Shared load improves desire, connection.

[00:36:50] Trial and error in quieting thoughts, acceptance.

[00:42:20] Importance of intersectionality in understanding libido.

[00:45:15] Different desires, validating lower libido, finding pleasure.

[00:54:19] Love yourself, but also connect with others.

[00:59:26] Attachment therapy trendy, not binary, nuanced.

[01:04:57] Finding pleasure in small, present moments daily.

 

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 6 - The Intersection of Blackness, Fatness, and Sex: A Conversation with Sex Therapist and Educator Ceara Corry

Fat and Fucked, Ep. 6 - The Intersection of Blackness, Fatness, and Sex: A Conversation with Sex Therapist and Educator Ceara Corry

 

“I don’t see color. I see everyone as part of the HUMAN race. I treat everyone equally.” This is how many white folx were taught to think about race specifically and individual differences more broadly. This perspective, however, does not account for our own unconscious bias, which we all have, nor does it allow us to acknowledge the tangible differences in the lived experiences of Black folx, especially those who are fat. Hosts Suzy and Krista are joined by their first ever podcast guest, Ceara Corry, a sex therapist and educator, for a complex discussion on bodies and sex in the Black community.

 

Have a listen, write a review wherever you get your podcasts, and give Ceara a follow on Instagram @ceethesexlady. You can support the show at Patreon.com/FatandFuckedPodcast.

 

Resources and references:

 

• Ceara Corry - www.Ceethesexlady.com, Instagram @ceethesexlady

• Carolina Sexual Wellness Center (CSWC) - www.carolinaswc.org

• Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fatphobia by Sabrina Strings - https://nyupress.org/9781479886753/fearing-the-black-body/

• Survival of the Thickest starring Michelle Buteau on Netflix (Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOKrWpaG5kk

• Danielle Brooks - @daniebb3 on Instagram

• Lizzo - @lizzobeeating on Instagram (This episode was recorded prior to the allegations surfacing regarding Lizzo’s treatment of her dancers.)

• Amber Riley - @msamberpriley on Instagram

• Roxane Gay - https://roxanegay.com/

• Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom - https://tressiemc.com/

• The Liberator - https://www.liberator.com/

• Jessamyn Stanley - https://jessamynstanley.com/, Instagram @mynameisjessamyn